Fire on The Chew, Swapping Spit & American Ghoul-ash (aka American Chop Suey) Ozzified

If we learned anything on today’s The Chew, it was that cooking isn’t for the faint of heart. First Mario Batali pays an audience member $100.00 to take a bite of blood sausage.  She didn’t seem to have any qualms about using the fork Mario used rather than her own fork so I’m guessing she has less problem with sharing saliva which has been shown to cause illness than she does with trying a food people have eaten for years without getting ill.

Then there was the flash fire when Michael Symon was showing Daphne Oz how to make his American Ghoul-ash. I’m still not convinced it was an accident. It looked more like an alcohol fire than a grease fire, and it sure went out a lot faster than any grease fire I’ve ever seen. It flared up as he tilted the plate containing the ground beef – BEFORE the meat even hit the pan. In watching it a second time, it appeared to be more sleight of hand than actual kitchen emergency. My guess is there was some sort of liquor like vodka on the plate that fell into the pan when he tipped it to spark a fire he could then demonstrate how to put out. Note also that Daphne had her hair braided rather than loose like it normally is.

All the shenanigans aside, Michael Symon made a super dish to feed the kids before they go Trick or Treating. He was correct when he said that his American Ghoul-ash was “…a great meal – it’s going to give your kids energy.   It’s got good carbs, & good protein.” 

I Ozzified it today with better carbs and better protein:

• Replaced high fat ground beef with 96% lean ground beef and added more olive oil to replace the LDL cholesterol fat missing from the beef with heart-healthy fat high in HDL cholesterol 
• Replaced Michael’s white enriched macaroni with whole wheat elbow macaroni raising the fiber count per serving up to 5 grams instead of 2
• Replaced Michael’s pricey, high sodium canned San Marzano tomatoes with no salt added organic tomatoes saving 90 mg sodium per quarter cup 
• Added fresh sliced mushrooms for additional fiber and protein

American Goulash, as it’s called in the Midwest where Michael was raised, has many variations around the country. In New England, it’s a staple on lunchroom menus and called American Chop Suey. Some families make it with tomato soup rather than tomato sauce, a common substitution back in the 1950s when the soup companies began touting their product as an easier and healthier way to prepare family favorites. 

I’m a California girl and our version was called “Chili Mac.” Mom browned the ground beef and onion, then added a can of Campbell’s Chili Soup, a can of Tomato Soup, a can of kidney beans, a dash or two of chili powder, and some water along with the cooked and drained macaroni. She then covered the whole thing with slices of American cheese.  It was the dinner served the night I graduated from high school, probably because she could feed the army that was our family with a minimum of prep time or clean-up since she made it in one HUGE electric skillet that was 8” deep and at least a foot wide.  It would take some tweaking for sure to replicate this dish since Campbell’s discontinued the very soup they invented this recipe for.

Sweet Treats Ozzified: Dark Chocolate Frozen Banana

I absolutely LOVE Goo Goo Clusters and would have made Carla Hall's Chew Chew Clusters in a heartbeat if I'd had access to Marshmallow Fluff. We have both national brand and store brand marshmallow crèmes, but Marshmallow Fluff is nowhere to be found. If I wasn't such a Goo Goo Cluster fiend, any old marshmallow filling might do, but since no other brand I've tried comes even close in quality to Marshmallow Fluff, I reluctantly decided to postpone making Carla's Chew Chew Clusters until I can replenish my stash.



The Chew made a lot of sweet treats today, and as funny as Rachael Ray's "Girl Math" is where a whole grain ingredient like multigrain pancake mix justifies using an artery-clogging one like bacon, out here in the real world making more sweets to sit on the counter singing their Siren song to me along with the packaged treats we already have on hand for next week's Trick or Treaters makes no sense. Instead, I made an Ozzified version of a chocolate shell topping similar to Magic Shell, the commercially available liquid topping that becomes a hard shell when put on cold things like ice cream.



While I agreed wholeheartedly with Mario Batali today when he said he could never get tired of plain vanilla gelato, I felt his kicked up version with crumbled Amaretti cookies and whipped cream could use a little chocolate. A quick drizzle of this topping on the gelato would be perfect. When used on sherbet, it tastes like a bittersweet orange truffle.

The process is simple: 

• Melt a high cacao content dark chocolate (60-75% cacao) either over a double boiler or in a microwave oven
• Stir in some virgin coconut oil in a ratio of 1 tsp coconut oil to 1 ounce chocolate. 
• Keep at room temperature until ready to use 

4 ounces chocolate mixed with 1 TBSP coconut oil makes for a richer, more intense chocolate flavor & is enough to cover two smaller bananas or top three scoops of ice cream Store any leftovers in an airtight container at room temperature.


This topping also makes a great chocolate covered frozen banana. The video shows this being made with a banana that was frozen while still in the skin, but these directions are much easier: 

• Slice a banana in half 
• Insert a stick into the middle of the cut end 
• Wrap in plastic wrap and freeze 
• Once the bananas are frozen, coat with the chocolate/coconut oil mixture 
• If you want nuts (it's yummy this way) roll the chocolate covered banana in some chopped walnuts before the topping hardens 
• Return to the freezer until ready to eat

Dr. Oz Beer Brewer Popcorn Mash-up

Wasn't feeling any of the recipes the past two days on The Chew, especially after Daphne Oz ate off the same fork she’d just used to share her spaghetti with a stranger.

There is a mash-up using popcorn that I DO like - Dr. Mehmet Oz’s recommendation to use Brewer’s Yeast (what his daughter Daphne calls Nutritional Yeast) in lieu of salt on popcorn.

On today's The Chew, Clinton Kelly's popcorn needs no tweaking from me as it was already Ozzified - well at least the written recipe was as it didn't pour on melted butter like he did on air. Even without butter, it's also a whole lot tastier than Daphne’s herbed popcorn looked on The Chew‘s October 7^th episode, IMHO. Her recipe might very well float someone else’s boat, but it wouldn’t be mine. I’m the girl that only likes plain potato chips & plain tortilla chips – admittedly because plain doesn’t compete with the flavor of dips & salsas. 


I also abhor air-popped popcorn, rice cakes or anything else that feels akin to eating Styrofoam, so rather than drizzling coconut oil over my popcorn, I pop my kernels in it instead so every kernel gets a touch of oily goodness. This is a popcorn mash-up I have eaten quite often - ever since Dr. Oz recommended it on his show last season.

Plain Popcorn, Ozzified

• ¼ c popcorn kernels (160 calories) 
• 1 TBSP Coconut oil (120 calories) 
• 1 TBSP Brewer’s Yeast (50 calories, 35 mg sodium)

Pop the popcorn kernels in the coconut oil (I used a Whirleypop, but you can use whatever you like, a deep pot, an old school electric popper, etc.) When the kernels stop popping, put in a big bowl & top with the Brewer’s yeast. 

Makes 5-7 cups, 76 calories & 7 mg sodium per cup

Pumpkin French Toast and Skinnygirl Sangria - Brunch Day Ozzified

Made an Ozzified and simplified version of Carla Hall’s Pumpkin French Toast with the Apple Cider Syrup and washed it down with an Ozzified version of Daphne’s cocktail for brunch on Sunday.  Both were great hits and far less calories than the ones shown on The Chew last Friday.

If it seems odd that I was able to Ozzify something Daphne Oz made, it isn’t. I made only a couple of tweaks but saved a huge amount of calories. Organic blueberries, organic peach chunks, organic strawberries, organic grapes, and melon chunks (they’re peeled so organic is unnecessary, IMHO) were frozen in some fruit juice for half of the guests & the rest were frozen in Crystal Light for the people who were calorie counting. Daphne had used peach puree with sugar – my fruit cubes had no added sugar and maintained their inulin-rich fiber because they weren’t pureed.

I used sparkling mineral water because it has extra calcium – a bonus we learned on today’s The Chew because calcium when consumed with inulin is great for your bones. I also used Bethenny Frankel’s SkinnyGirl White Sangria for the alcohol – it only has 26.4 calories per ounce which is lower than most other sangrias. Some drank it with the sparking water and some drank it with only the sangria.

It came as no surprise that Carla’s Pumpkin French Toast and Apple Cider Syrup was in need of a major Ozzification to be served in my home.  

I simplified & Ozzified making the syrup by 

• reducing organic apple cider with blue agave nectar and a little cornstarch
• Using Omega 3 buttery spread instead of butter 

Spicing pecans looked like too much bother, so all I did was throw in some rough chopped walnuts (I didn’t have any pecans) into the syrup just before it was finished reducing. Not only was it easier, but it saved a lot of calories as well.

I made the pumpkin mixture the night before and soaked the bread in it overnight as Carla suggested, but I used 

• vanilla coconut milk instead of milk
• vanilla soy creamer instead of cream
• whole grain bread instead of challah
• nonstick spray instead of butter for the griddle 
• omitted the sugar and vanilla because there was already sugar and vanilla in the coconut milk and soy creamer. 

Even with all these Ozzifications, the bread souffled into a light and delicious treat tasting just like Carla said it would - like a pumpkin doughnut. 

Carla Hall's Onion Rings - Ozzified!

I’m with Carla Hall - I LOVE onion rings, one of the most vilified sides in the history of fast food.  I rarely eat them now that they’re on nearly every top ten list of the worst foods you can ever eat, so when I do eat them, I want them to be GREAT! I want my splurge to be crispy, crunchy perfection, not a sad, soggy mess. I’m sure Carla would agree that the best way to ensure they're the tastiest is to make them ourselves. 

Yesterday, I took Carla’s recipe and Ozzified it. Yes, I know the show was about our last meal on Earth and like Clinton Kelly said, if the world’s going to end, who cares about nutrition? Well, I’m pretty sure I’m going to be here tomorrow and even though this version may have a bit more nutrition than the original recipe, they’re still a splurge – a little added fiber isn’t going to neutralize all the fat that’s giving it that great crunchy goodness. That’s akin to the line of thinking I had when I used to wash down a Big Mac with a diet Coke. Yes, it had fewer calories than a full sugar soda or the shake I’d have preferred to order, but it still was a heart attack in a Styrofoam clamshell.

I followed Carla’s recipe and instructions with the following modifications:

• I used whole wheat flour and a little ground flaxseed meal in place of the white flour
• used sparkling mineral water in place of the high sodium club soda
• added some psyllium husks to the panko crumbs for even more fiber. 

Keep in mind, whole wheat flour doesn’t stick to the onion  as easily as refined white, so I dipped the ring into some water before the flour step.Don't skip the flour step or the batter won’t cling to the onion on its own – it needs the flour step to give it something to grab onto. Also, the batter is denser than Carla’s so I added more sparkling water to make it thin enough to coat the ring without becoming a cakey mess but not so thin that the panko/psyllium husks had nothing to stick to.

Carla's tip about the instant potatoes was killer – every one of them came out crispy. The final result was to die for delicious – and very much worth it.  I couldn't eat them all, and because I was in a hurry to get to a college football game, I inadvertently left the uneaten ones on the baking rack overnight. The football game I went to was by far the most surprising one I've ever seen - we had a fake referee (who was really a streaker) whistle a play dead. While he was running around the field naked, a melee ensued between the two teams that cleared both sidelines with the fighting spread out over 60 yards. 


Even more surprising was that the onion rings were still great almost 24 hours later - so crispy and delicious that I popped one on my veggie burger with a little no-salt ketchup for lunch. Unbelievably good, but believe this...if the world were ending, that veggie burger would've been a luscious, beefy Lola Burger!

Healthy Bacon Chipotle Kettle Corn - would've been a Grand Slam on The Chew's World Series

My favorite treat @ Chase Field isn't the Sonoran Hot Dog shown on The Chew today - it's the kettle corn. Good as it is, what I make at home is even better, has fewer calories, and way less salt, fat and sugar. If it had been in The Chew's World Series of Food, it would've been a grand slam! 


Try it & I think you'll agree.

Kicked up Guilt-free Bacon Chipotle Kettle Corn:

Making this recipe pretty much requires a WhirleyPop stove top popper. (They're pretty easy to come by if you don't already own one) 

• ¼ c popcorn kernels (160 calories) 
• 1 TBSP Coconut oil (120 calories) 
• 1 TBSP red decorator sugar (210 calories) 
• Ground Chipotle pepper (2 calories) 
• low sodium bacon salt (0)

1. Put all the ingredients into the Whirley Pop, close lid & give it a good stir. 
2. Stir continuously over high flame until the popping slows considerably. 
3. Immediately pour onto a cookie sheet then immerse the empty Whirley Pop in some hot water (if you don’t, you’ll have a devil of a time getting it clean). 
4. Let the Kettle corn cool a bit then put into bowls and enjoy! Makes 7 cups.

Daphne Oz's Kale Chips - the COMPLETE recipe!

Having some kale that I need to use before it goes bad, my ears perked up when I heard Daphne Oz was making kale chips. I’d tried to make them before and both times were disasters – the first time undercooked and not crispy, the second time burnt to a crisp, so I was really amped to see how to make them.  As you probably know, the recipe wasn’t shown on air, just mentioned that it was on the website. Went there & SURPRISE (not really on The Chew’s buggy website) no oven temp – just a time 15-18 minutes. So once again, I punted. 

Luckily this time my kale chips came out perfectly. Woohoo!

• Set the oven temp to 375. 
• Wash the kale & get as dry as possible on a paper towel.
• Remove any thick or fibrous ribs – if you don’t, either the kale leaves will be perfectly crispy while the stems are underdone or the stems will be perfect and the leaves will be like charcoal. 
• Put the kale in a bowl and lightly toss with a little olive oil, some sesame seeds and a tsp of minced garlic.
• Daphne’s recipe said to add salt & pepper  (I didn’t because my sesame seeds had sea salt) 
• Spread on a cookie sheet & put into the preheated 375 degree oven for 5-10 minutes. 

When the kale gets brown and crispy, it’s done. Either eat immediately or let cool and store in an airtight container.

Feeding America … & My Family

I’ve become increasingly frustrated that the recipes aren’t online earlier than one hour before the show because my grocery store is a good five miles from my house. Even the über-proprietary Martha Stewart puts her recipes up on the same day, HOURS before it airs. I have to admit that since The Chew came on the air, I no longer feel the need to watch her hour-long infomercial for all things MSLO. All I want are some recipes, some healthy living tips and some lifestyle tips on a show where the commercials come BETWEEN segments and aren’t the impetus behind the segments themselves.

Today the short notice wasn’t the problem - it was the number of choices. Usually, I’m able to quickly narrow it down to one or two dishes to make based on what I have on hand and how likely I am able to get anything not in my pantry. Today, the only thing I knew I didn’t want to make was Carla Hall’s pot roast because I still had tri-tip from Saturday’s cookout in my fridge and didn’t want to add even more beef to my rapidly expanding inventory of leftovers.

After reading the recipes, I realized that while I had some ingredients for each of the dishes, I didn’t have 100% of ingredients for ANY of the dishes. I decided to watch the show first in the hopes that it would make my choice easier – which it in fact did, but not in the way I expected.

In the back of my mind throughout today’s episode was how unlikely it would be for someone needing a food bank to have all the ingredients for any one of today’s dishes on hand if a foodie like me didn’t. Then it hit me between the eyeballs that the point of today’s show wasn’t that everyone would have every ingredient on hand, but that with a little imagination, anyone could put together a nutritious, filling dish with whatever they did have on hand, even if it comes from the food bank. Voilà!  I had my idea – I would make Carla’s Penne Ragu using ingredients from most of the other dishes to make up for the fact that I didn’t have leftover veggies from pot roast, then donate the money I would’ve spent on those dishes to Feeding America.

Here’s what I came up with:

• Olive oil – just enough to coat the bottom of a deep frying pan 
• 1 small sweet potato, peeled and grated 
• ¼ of a red onion, roughly chopped 
• ½ carton sliced baby portabella mushrooms 
• ¼ bulb of fennel, roughly chunked 
• Leftover protein (I used tri-tip beef) 
• 1 tsp turmeric 
• one pizza delivery envelope of crushed red pepper (use fresh-ground black pepper if you don’t like spicy) 
• cinnamon to taste 
• 4 oz 11 minute Penne 
• 4 cups boiling water 
• whole wheat Panko crumbs

1. Put on the pasta water in a pan 
2. preheat a deep frying pan over medium-high heat  with just enough olive oil to thinly coat the bottom. 
3. Put the pasta in the water. Add the grated sweet potato then the onion into the fry pan and stir. 
4. When the sweet potatoes begin to stick and the onions start to soften, add the fennel and stir again. 
5. Add the mushrooms and stir again. If it is too dry, add a cup of the pasta water. Stir. 
6. By the time the mushrooms start to soften, the pasta should be about a minute or two away from being done. Dump the pasta, water & all, into the fry pan. 
7. Add the meat Continue to stir until a nice gravy is rendered. It will thicken up as it cools so be careful to not overcook. 
8. Let sit while you toast up some breadcrumbs. I used what I had on hand - whole wheat Panko. 
9. Spoon the penne mixture into bowls and top with the freshly toasted crumbs.

I used tumeric from Mario Batali’s chicken dish, sweet potatoes from Daphne Oz’s pancakes, red onions from Michael Symon’s tacos, crushed red pepper and penne from two of Carla Hall’s dishes which means I will be donating the $25 I saved NOT making the entire dish to Feeding America – if I can find the link on The Chew website…which as of yet I have not been able to do.

Flash Fried Chicken Mash-Up & Reverse OZ-mosis – October 14, 2011's The Chew Recipe Redo

Carla Hall did a great job reducing the calories in her Grandma Thelma’s fried chicken, but she didn’t get it down as low as Rocco diSpirito's flash-fried chicken that he made on GMA last summer. Carla's recipe still looked good to me, so I did a mash-up of both their techniques for healthy fried chicken that’s also delicious – probably because it’s actually fried and not baked. Her tip of leaving the chicken to sit in the flour for 15 minutes made a huge difference.

• Simmer the chicken (I used boneless, skinless chicken breast) in some low sodium chicken broth. I added some fresh garlic for more flavor.  
• When the chicken is just cooked through, put it in a paper bag with seasoned whole wheat flour, I used cayenne, smoked paprika and black pepper. Let it sit for 15 minutes the way Carla did. You can add flaxseed meal to the flour mixture if you want. 
• Heat some oil in a skillet, preferably cast iron. The oil is ready when the handle of a wooden spoon bubbles after being dipped into the hot oil. (Thanks for the great tip, Mario!)
• Flash fry the chicken until golden brown, about a minute. Because the chicken is already cooked through, all you’re doing is creating the crust. This method drastically cuts the amount of fat absorbed into the chicken because it isn’t in there long enough to soak up vast quantities of oil.

The chicken went well with Daphne Oz’s baked sweet potato fries, but I have to admit that I did a little Reverse OZ-mosis. Normally I try to make The Chew recipes healthier by following Dr. Oz’s guidelines, but instead I made it a little tastier by using coconut oil instead of olive oil. Coconut oil has a flavor profile more compatible with sweet potatoes than olive oil.  

I also used fresh-grated nutmeg and a little cayenne in place of the salt & pepper. I'd like to say it's healthier because I omitted the salt and added heart-healthy cayenne and nutmeg, but since I used a less healthy oil - coconut oil is solid @ room temperature (in places north of Arizona, anyway) I'm calling it a wash. While it isn't as healthy as what Daphne made, it's certainly a whole lot better than regular French fries.

Follow Daphne’s directions except use coconut oil in place of the olive oil and nutmeg & cayenne in place of the salt & pepper. Don’t crowd them in the pan – sweet potatoes tend to steam and your “fries” will be mushy instead of crisp. I'm happy to report that these fries came out crispy on the outside and soft on the inside - there were no leftovers!

Pomegranate Sunset Recipe Re-Do from Oct. 13th's The Chew

Clinton Kelly made drinks inspired by all of his co-hosts except Carla – what gives??? I’d have made a lemonade drink with a good bourbon from Carla’s home state of Tennessee. Oh well.

Daphne’s drink was a Pomegranate Sunset. I Ozzified it by making a syrup using agave nectar in place of the white sugar – 1 part agave to 2 parts pomegranate juice.

As usual, I made a few changes:

• I didn’t have any regular vodka, but had some vanilla vodka in the freezer, so I used that instead. 
• I used sparkling mineral water in place of seltzer water because that is what I had on hand, 
• Since I still had nearly a full jug of organic apple cider left from last week’s Apple Pie Yogurt dessert, I used it in place of the orange juice.
• I used a cinnamon stick and a quick grind of nutmeg as garnish rather than go buy mint which probably wouldn’t have gone very well with apple cider anyway.

The final product was tasty enough, but had way more calories and sugar than my usual cocktails. I’d rather have a mojito or a Skinny Girl margarita, especially since it’s still in the 90s here in Arizona.

Michael Symon’s Tailgate Breakfast Taco Ozzified – Another The Chew Recipe Redo

Got up bright and early today & made Michael Symon’s Tailgate Taco from yesterday's The Chew. Sadly, there was no tailgate to go to this morning – it is Thursday after all, but it was a tasty, healthy breakfast nonetheless.

Of course you know I Ozzified it to make it even healthier.

• I used a spritz of olive oil from my pump mister rather than a whole tablespoon of olive oil to heat my tortilla, saving about 100 calories.
• The only pickled onions in the stores I went to were the kind you use in martinis, so I caramelized some onion along with a few slices of a phyto-nutrient rich fresh Anaheim chili that I got already roasted and peeled from our Farmers’ Market. (Living this close to the border does have it’s benefits when it comes to getting good, fresh chilies)
• Cut the lime juice from ½ lime to 1/6^th. Half of a lime would make for a really soggy taco.
• Did not use the salt and pepper – we don’t use that on tacos out west - our tacos are already full of flavor
• Added a slice of stress-busting avocado – Daphne would be so happy!
• Ozzified the salsa verde by cutting the amount of salsa verde in half and mixing it with a tablespoon of fresh, homemade guacamole thus making my personal favorite condiment, guacasalsa.
• Only used one egg – corn tortillas aren’t only lower in calories due to their fat-free, wholegrain content, they’re also a lot smaller than flour tortillas. Unless you’re using quail eggs, one is about all the egg you’re going to fit in it.

It was an excellent breakfast – tasted more like fajitas than breakfast, but a whole lot healthier. I’ll be eating this again, but only at home. Even though we’re having Mexican food at our next tailgater, this recipe is better fresh. Don’t think we’ll have any volunteers to cook them up one @ a time when so many other yummy Mexican foods can be served buffet style.

Making Clinton's White Bean Dip and Daphne Eats her first ever Hot Dog

Clinton Kelly’s White Bean dip sounded yummy so I went to The Chew website for the recipe. Surprise - it isn’t on the website, so I made some up by trial and error using his description (& a really good blender). Instead of crostini, I dipped in some red pepper slices. 

White Bean Dip

• 1 can no salt added organic white beans, drained & rinsed 
• 2 cloves garlic 
• smoked sea salt (or salt substitute) pepper & cumin to taste
• extra virgin olive oil - enough to make it smooth

Whir the whole thing up in a blender, drizzling in a little olive oil at a time until it is to your desired consistency.

I also made Michael Symon's Kebabs, but I used chicken like he suggested as an alternative to the lamb. I used a sprig of fresh rosemary from my garden in lieu of skewer. It not only lets me avoid the hassle of remembering to soak the skewer, it also imparts a delicious rosemary flavor throughout the chicken. Besides, Dr. Oz says that grilling with rosemary helps mitigate some of the alleged cancer-causing factors linked to charring food on the BBQ.

Rosemary skewered Chicken Kebab on the grill and on my plate

Today's highlight wasn't the recipes, it was taking their razzing of Daphne Oz to new heights. Picking on Daphne & the Oz household’s gustatory sensibilities has become a recurring theme on the show, and was a significant portion of the broadcast today. I wonder if they realize that Daphne is a housewife from New Jersey???

On this episode, Daphne was razzed for eating Veggie hotdogs with mayo. 

I was surprised when Daphne didn’t make clear that her father, Dr. Oz, is more likely to recommend mayo as a hair product than as a condiment. Her mother did, however, via phone when she informed The Chew crew that the Oz household uses Veganaise, not mayo. Watch along as she witnessed her daughter eating her first ever hotdog made from processed meat by-products & nitrites – though Mario Batali served her a hotdog that looked much better-dressed than the one I had @ last week’s football tailgater.